Here’s a note I received from a loyal reader and friend, Al, in the Peach State:
“Ron, are you warmed up? I just reserved a flight to Toronto for you. It shouldn’t be more than 100-0 by the time you get there,” Al.
This could be my last stand!
I’m working on a great Cab, which I know you love, too. The Misses is getting a doo and I’m here alone with the Cab and keyboard. It doesn’t get any better than that.
Al, if you were here, I’d clink glasses with you and say what my friend Pete in Villanova says when we start drinking wine: .”Sa’lute, cent’ anni.”
He’s a good wine drinker.
Here’s the thing.
I went out on a limb and said the Phillies would win the East. I guess I’m looking pretty stupid, now, but what’s that line say in Bob Dylan’s song? ‘For the loser now will be later to win, for the times, they are a-changin.‘ I was a big Dylan fan. The music of Dylan and Baez flowed through the barracks at Ft. Bragg, NC, in 1969.
Okay, the Ace got hammered in the seventh last night when three Blue Jays went yard. It was pretty nasty. But Al, look at it this way, after everything that’s gone wrong, they are what. Two-and-a-half out?
I sent an email to my brother Fred asking him what he would do with the team. He said, “Fire Amaro.”
A good point, I admit, but not much help.
I’m in this alone, Al, and I’ve got to fight my way out. It looks like Dear Leader isn’t buying my advice on Chase Headley. Whew, not after Cody Ashe just went four for four.
Hey, Cody, thanks a lot.
But let’s take a look at things, Al. I know, when you were VP for operations at Merck, you would sometimes kick back and evaluate staff. You know, do a once over and see what comes up.
So here we go, the players that need a kick in the butt:
First, Dom Brown, a big one. Dom, I’ve been singing your praises for three years, so my friend, you owe me. See the ball. Hit the ball. Go sit down. Don’t worry about hurting your pinky. You’re hitting .223 with one home run.
What, are you insane?
You’re on a one year, $550,000 contract. That’s chump-change to LeBron James. He spends that much a year on tips. You will never see the big money unless you…
H-I-T T-H-E B-A-L-L!!! Got it?
Cole Hamels. I’m not going to use the word overrated, but my neighbors in South Philly are talking. It seems you’ve never pitched in the cold rain in California.
Okay, I can understand that. But Cole, we’re in the era of climate change. Next month you might be pitching in a tsunami, so get with it.
Lookit, Cole. When they give you the big contract, you’re suppose to set an example for the younger players, like Roberto Hernandez, and do good.
That way, they’ll shell out millions more for the next Cole Hamels. You’ve got a responsibility. You good with that?
Kyle Kendrick. Kyle, you’re in a contract year, am I correct? When you’re in a contract year, you’re supposed to step it up so you can get a blockbuster deal — similar money to what the School District of Philadelphia CAN’T get — for the next 3 years.
B-U-T Y-O-U A-R-E 0-3, W-I-T-H A 3.58 E-R-A!!!
Kyle, it’s fun to sit in the dugout with Lee and Burnett and spit sunflower seeds and be like Bowa.
But you’ve got to do some serious thinking about whether you want a $450,000 home, or a $4 million dollar home. See what I’m sayin‘?
Oh yea, there are others: Nix, .158; Mayberry, .143 and Galvis, .051.
Boys, let’s try to get it up above the Mendoza line, or next season you’ll be watching the games on Xfinity with the Misses and me.
And finally, what’s with Toronto? Can’t they do anything besides hit home runs?
Al, see why you shouldn’t drink and write?
Your friend, Ron.